Ajo Palava: When Kindness Almost Cost Me My Reputation 💔

6 October 2026 · by Holly Mohanye · ⏱️ 6 min read

There are some experiences in life that you do not forget.

Not because they were beautiful.

But because they taught you lessons you could never have learned from a book.

This is one of mine.

For years, I was involved in what we commonly call ajo, monthly contribution, or cooperative contribution.

I started doing it around 2020, and for years, everything worked beautifully.

People contributed every month.

Some people collected their money at the end of the year.

Some collected in the middle of the year.

Some needed their money for school fees, business, rent, family responsibilities, investments and other plans.

And because people trusted me, I became the person who helped coordinate these contributions.

At different points, I could have millions of naira passing through my account because I was helping different people manage their contributions.

₦100,000.

₦200,000.

₦500,000.

₦1 million.

And sometimes, the total amount was as much as ₦10 million from different contributions.

And for years…

It worked.

People trusted me.

I trusted them.

And I took the responsibility seriously.

Then came 2025.

Everything started normally.

Some colleagues had their contribution plans.

Some were supposed to collect in July.

Some in August.

Some in December.

But eventually, many of them decided they wanted their money around December.

And this is where things became complicated.

I had people around me whom I trusted deeply.

People I considered colleagues, friends and, in some cases, almost family.

And when someone I trusted came to me and said,

“Holly, I need ₦10 million.”

or

“I need ₦1 million.”

I could help because I trusted that the money would come back.

And that trust eventually put me in a very difficult position.

At one point, I had given a colleague approximately ₦3.7 million, expecting the money to come back.

But the repayment did not happen as expected.

And suddenly, money that I had expected to have available was no longer available when I needed it.

Meanwhile, the people who had trusted me were waiting for their money.

December came.

Then January.

The expected timeline passed.

And suddenly, it was no longer just about money.

My name was involved.

My reputation was involved.

The trust I had spent years building was suddenly being questioned.

And honestly?

It broke me.

Because I was not the person who had intended to keep anyone’s money.

I was not trying to disappear.

I was not trying to cheat anybody.

I had simply trusted someone else.

And somehow, their situation became my problem.

I Had To Make A Difficult Decision.

I already knew I was planning to leave the organisation.

So instead of continuing the contribution and putting more people at risk, I decided to settle everyone as quickly as I could and bring the arrangement to an end.

I did not know whether I would ever do contributions again.

At that point, I just wanted to protect the people who had trusted me.

And I went through one of the most difficult seasons of my life.

People I had worked with.

People I had laughed with.

People I had considered friends.

People I had considered family.

Suddenly, everything changed.

I was dragged into situations I never imagined I would experience.

I found myself at the police station because of a situation that, in my mind, started with something as simple as trying to help people manage their money.

I cried.

I was angry.

I was disappointed.

I questioned myself.

I wondered:

“Why did I help?”

“Why did I trust?”

“Why did I put myself in this position?”

And perhaps the hardest question was:

“Was my kindness a mistake?”

But Here Is What I Learned.

Kindness was not the mistake.

The absence of boundaries was.

There is a difference.

I do not regret being someone people could trust.

I do not regret helping people.

I do not regret being generous.

But I have learned that kindness must come with wisdom.

You can be kind and still say no.

You can trust someone and still have proper documentation.

You can help someone and still protect yourself.

You can love people and still have boundaries.

And perhaps most importantly:

✨ You should never put someone else’s trust in your hands based solely on your trust in another person.

That experience taught me something I will carry for the rest of my life.

Never Confuse Trust With Financial Security. 💰

If you are managing other people’s money, please understand the weight of that responsibility.

Do not rely only on friendship.

Do not rely only on someone’s word.

Do not assume that because someone has always paid you before, they will always be able to pay you tomorrow.

Life changes.

Businesses fail.

Jobs disappear.

Emergencies happen.

People’s circumstances change.

And when money is involved, good intentions are not enough.

You need systems.

You need records.

You need clear agreements.

You need boundaries.

And you need to understand exactly what you are putting at risk.

And What About The Money?

As I write this, I am still trying to recover the approximately ₦3.7 million that was given to someone I trusted.

The situation is still ongoing.

I believe the person is capable of paying it back, and I hope that eventually, everything will be resolved properly.

But beyond the money, there is something more valuable that I gained from this experience:

Wisdom.

I became more careful.

More discerning.

More structured.

More aware of my responsibilities.

And perhaps most importantly, I learned that being a kind person does not mean you have to carry everybody’s problems on your head.

😂

So, Did The Experience Change Me?

Yes.

But not in the way you might think.

It did not make me stop loving people.

It did not make me stop helping people.

It did not make me become selfish.

It simply taught me to be wiser while doing it.

I still believe people deserve kindness.

I still believe people deserve second chances.

I still believe we should help one another.

But now, I also believe in boundaries, accountability and proper systems.

Because sometimes, you can have the purest intentions and still find yourself in a difficult situation.

And that does not mean your heart was wrong.

Sometimes, it simply means your heart needed wisdom to accompany it.

🤍 “Kindness is beautiful, but kindness without boundaries can become a burden.”

So if you are reading this and you have ever been hurt because you trusted someone…

Please do not allow the experience to turn you into a bitter person.

• Learn from it.
• Put better systems in place.
• Set boundaries.
• Ask questions.
• Document things.
• Protect yourself.

And then…

Keep being a good person.

Just become a wiser one.

Because I have learned something very important:

🌱 You do not have to stop being kind. You just have to stop being careless with your kindness.

And that is probably one of the biggest lessons 2025 gave me.

It was painful.

It was embarrassing.

It was exhausting.

But it changed me.

And today, I can look back and say:

I survived it.

My reputation took a hit.

My heart was bruised.

My trust was tested.

But my kindness survived.

And so did I. ❤️

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