I Have Been Hurt, But I Still Choose Love ❤️

6 October 2026 · by Holly Mohanye · ⏱️ 6 min read

There are some things life teaches you quietly.

Not through books.

Not through advice.

But through people.

Through relationships.

Through betrayal.

Through disappointment.

Through the moments when you sit alone and ask yourself,

“How did we even get here?” 🥺

I have been there.

More times than I would like to admit.

I have been that person who showed up for people.

I cared.

I checked in.

I prayed.

I gave.

I listened.

I supported.

And sometimes, I gave people access to parts of me they probably should not have had access to.

I was open.

Perhaps too open.

And looking back, I realise that I probably said things I should not have said.

I probably shared things that were not mine to share.

I probably gave opinions in places where my opinion was not requested.

I probably involved myself in situations where I should have simply watched, prayed and kept quiet.

And sometimes, I allowed certain behaviours because I loved people.

I made excuses.

I overlooked things.

I gave people chance after chance.

Until I eventually realised something:

✨ “Being a good person does not mean you have to be available for everything.”

I Saw More Than People Thought I Saw 👀

One thing people sometimes misunderstand about quietness is that they think you do not notice.

You notice.

You just do not always react.

I have watched people.

I have noticed changes.

I have noticed selfishness.

I have noticed when the energy changed.

I have noticed when the same person who needed me yesterday suddenly had no use for me today.

I have noticed when people took my kindness for granted.

But sometimes, I chose silence.

Not because I was foolish.

Not because I did not understand.

But because I was trying to preserve the relationship.

And perhaps that is something I have had to learn:

You cannot preserve every relationship by sacrificing yourself.

📝 Sometimes, the relationship needs to end because the version of you that keeps tolerating everything needs to end.

I Have Also Learned To Watch My Own Mouth. 🤍

This one is important.

It is easy to talk about how people hurt us.

But what about the times we got it wrong?

What about the things we said?

The opinions we gave?

The conversations we entered?

The secrets we repeated?

The assumptions we made?

The times we thought we were helping but were actually crossing a boundary?

I have had to look at myself too.

And honestly, growth sometimes sounds like:

“I should not have said that.”

“That was not my place.”

“I should have stayed quiet.”

“I should have minded my business.” 😂

And that is okay.

Because maturity is not pretending you have always been right.

Maturity is being humble enough to recognise when you were wrong.

🌱 “Growth is not only learning what people did to you. Sometimes, it is learning what you did too.”

But Here Is The Part That Still Amazes Me ❤️

Despite everything…

I still love people.

I have been hurt.

I have been disappointed.

I have felt betrayed.

I have had relationships that started beautifully and ended painfully.

But somehow, my love for those people did not disappear.

And maybe that is because I have realised something:

I do not want someone else’s behaviour to determine the condition of my heart.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 reminds us that love is patient and kind. It does not keep a record of wrongs, and it endures.

And then 1 Peter 4:8 says:

🤍 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

That is beautiful.

But it is also difficult.

Because loving people is easy when they are treating you well.

The real test is what happens when they hurt you.

Love Does Not Mean No Boundaries.

I want to make this very clear.

Loving someone does not mean allowing them to continually disrespect you.

Forgiving someone does not mean giving them the same access to you.

Caring about someone does not mean you have to remain in every relationship.

You can love someone…

and still walk away.

You can forgive someone…

and still have boundaries.

You can pray for someone…

and still stop explaining yourself to them.

You can genuinely wish someone well…

without allowing them to keep hurting you.

🕊️ “Forgiveness can release someone from your heart without giving them unlimited access to your life.”

And I think that is wisdom.

I Choose Love Anyway. ❤️

I do not want betrayal to make me bitter.

I do not want disappointment to make me suspicious of everyone.

I do not want a few bad experiences to make me believe that everybody is bad.

I do not want to become someone who stops giving because someone once took advantage of my generosity.

I want to remain soft.

But wiser.

Kind.

But discerning.

Loving.

But with boundaries.

Open.

But not careless.

And perhaps that is the balance I am still learning.

Because Jesus said in Matthew 5:44:

❤️ “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

That kind of love is not weakness.

That is strength.

It takes strength to refuse revenge.

It takes strength to forgive.

It takes strength to wish someone well when they have hurt you.

And it takes even greater strength to look at yourself and say,

“I could have handled that better too.”

So, What Has Life Taught Me? 🌱

• Not everyone deserves unlimited access to you.
• You can love people without tolerating everything they do.
• Silence is sometimes wiser than an opinion.
• Not every situation requires your involvement.
• Pay attention to people’s actions, not only their words.
• Forgiveness does not cancel boundaries.
• Sometimes you also need to take responsibility for your own mistakes.
• Do not allow betrayal to turn you into a bitter person.
• Love people, but do not lose yourself trying to keep them.
• Above everything, guard your heart. 🤍

Proverbs 4:23 says:

✨ “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

So yes…

I have been hurt.

I have probably trusted too much.

I have probably spoken when I should have been silent.

I have probably given opinions where they were not needed.

I have probably allowed selfishness because I wanted to keep people I loved.

But I am learning.

And I am grateful for the lessons.

Because I would rather become wiser than bitter.

I would rather become discerning than suspicious.

I would rather have boundaries than resentment.

And I would rather continue to love than allow the actions of a few people to change the person I am becoming.

So, to everyone who has hurt me, disappointed me, misunderstood me, or walked away…

I still love you.

Not necessarily from the same distance.

Not necessarily with the same access.

Not necessarily with the same relationship.

But I genuinely wish you well.

And I pray that wherever life takes you, you become the best version of yourself.

Because at the end of it all…

🤍 “I can protect my heart without hardening it.”

And that is the kind of person I want to be.

Still loving.

Still learning.

Still forgiving.

Still growing.

Still choosing love. ❤️

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